New motion for debate: Are youngsters beyond control?
What will you do with a violent son/daughter?
We can read on the newspapers the case of the violent girl in the Spanish village of “
La Calzada”, where a 13 years-old student is threatening her family and classmates everyday. The girl accumulates several police reports because of her attitude, because she only thinks about doing the things that she wants, even thefts and menaces.
With an arrogant behaviour, she wants to run away from her house. She doesn’t like her family and her boyfriend (17 years-old) is a bad influence because he is a criminal with 19 police reports.
Her mother wants to recover her daughter, a girl who can live like the other girls of 13 years, so she decides to call the social services to provide her daughter with psychological assistance.
This case is no strange nowadays. You can find very violent and arrogant students in every school, students who don’t obey their teachers (or parents), and in most of cases these students are very young people, like the one in “
La Calzada”.
What are the reasons for this behaviour? And what are the solutions?
Comments»
I don´t think there´s so much violence in the newspapers as it is said. What it happens is the press talk too much about it. But what it strikes me the most is how many people believe everything is said in TV. Maybe there is as much violence as 20 years ago, but nowadays theese things are reported, and they didn´t used to be be reported. Tha´s the difference. If there are some violent students int the school it´s normal, the teenagers are in difficult ages, and some of them behave thus.
In most cases, this behaviour indicates an unhappy family life. The solution to these problems can be found in improving the experience of the child at home. The parents are central to developing a better life for the child and solving these problems.
I think this girl´s parents didn´t educate her as they should have done. If they hadn´t allowed her to do everything she has always wanted, she wouldn´t be so rebel.
In conclusion, I think the children´s parents have to love them and give them freedom, but always with limits.
A child who commits thefts
is signaling as clearly as he / she knows how that something is wrong in that child’s life. Chances are earlier cries for help . Our best hope is to identify these children as early as possible and help them to solve their situation and put their lives on course.
I agree with the rest of my mates, because of my job I deal almost every day
with youngsters and I think The earlier a child is identified as needing help, the better the chance of success.
The reasons? Perhaps this behaviour is the most typical one in teenagers who have poor self-esteem and need to feel comfortable with themselves standing out by something, it doesn’t matter the way: they try to show they’re brave by stealing or by bullying their classmates, etc. In my opinion the solutions have to come from themselves: we only can make them realise their acts aren’t the proper ones, and we have to trust them to realise they can’t continue leading their lives in this way. The most important point: being patient and showing them clearly the consequences of their behaviour.
Daniel, is it “normal” to have some violent students in the school? It’s common, but it is not normal. What’s normal is trying to finish with bullying, for ex., by reporting the situations, and, of course, communication means play one of the most important roles in giving the information to the society.
20 years ago children didn’t shout to their teachers, nowadays some teachers are threatened by students and they can´t do anything because some parents don’t believe in punishment and don’t let the teachers “act”.
Violent students? As Rebeca says, it’s common, but it is not normal. And talking about my own experiences: I have studied in 5 different schools, (in 5 different places in Spain), and I have met less than 5 violent students in my own class.
As I see it it all comes from home, many parents (of course we’re talking on general terms) nowadays spect teachers to educate their children and forget their own responsabilities, and the most impotant education you have is the one you learned at home during your childhood.
I think it’s very important to educate children but in our society many parents should also receive some courses on how to overcome their kids.
It’s obvious that there is an increasing problem with youngsters. In my opinion, there are many factors that can have an influence on it. Many parents want to be their children’s best friends and they are extremely permissive. At the same time teachers have less and less authority and they don’t receive any support.
Sometimes those parents behave as if there were a conspiration against their children, they are treated as if they were victims of the society, the teachers, the classmates…they aren’t to blame of anything. But when they are out of control, it’s very easy to ask for the institutions that they take measures for repairing what they have done wrong or even what they haven’t done.
We can see an improving number of cases in which youngsters are involves,like family problems,bullin…But I believe that all of them started whit a no appropiated bringing up:I mean,Parents are not the only guilties,but yes de more important ones.If they don´t control their child,who will control them?
It´s all related with education. Maybe a determinative factor that caused the girl’s escape was that she had problems at home. And maybe these problems are not caused by the girl, but by the parents who didn´t educate her well, or didn´t look after her and gave her some values she needed.
Maybe if the girl runs away from home is because she doesn´t love or appreciate her parents, and maybe they didn´t give her their love and attention. I think it´s the girl’s fault, of course, but the role of the parents is very determinative too.
Solutions are difficult to find, but it´s a problemn that it has always exist, it always has been violent people, but now regulations deffend rights of children that weren`t deffended before. These cases happen because the law, but the solution is not changing it. Education is the solution, but it is too late for some cases.
Parents have to take control in the manners of their children and try to get them in the right way. I think that children should be more respectful with parents ans teachers. That´s an essential point.
The problems you are discussing about the bringing up, I know why it happens. Because nowadays the parents never give a smack to their children,they loock killers if they do this. And sometimes the childrens need to be given a smack. I´m not in favour of violence, and I have never hit my girlfriend or ex-girlfiends, and I will never do it. And I´m not talking about beating their up, just give a smack.
But when I have children unluckyly I will have to do it, I hope not. But it´s almost imposible they don´t do anythings which is not going to be corrected with a smacks. Because when you are so young there are some things you can only be corrected giving you some smacks. It´s sad, but it´s thus.
What it’s true is that our children watch hundreds of violent images in a day.It’s important to think about it. I agree with javier Parra. When I was a child and the teacher said something all of us were in silence and we have to obey their orders or they call your parents, these were times where the worst thing in your life was your parents knew what you had done. Nowadays children don’t mind what their parents say, and the most terrible things: their parents are always by their side, in spite of their children are guilty. When i was guilty of something my mother punished me. I believe in punishment (not always)
Some parents allow their children to do what they want when they are very young. They don´t set rules at home, so when they are 13 or 14 they are uncontrollable and in some cases it´s too late to do nothing, bacause children know their rights and the law is extremely soft with them in most of the cases.
I don´t think all the youngsters are future criminals but it´s true that good manners are lost.