Motion: “Mothers at the age of grandmothers: do you agree?”
Motion presented by Margarita Nogueiro
What do you think about women who decide to have a baby at the age that they could be their grandmothers?
Read this article and discuss the motion!
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In fact, all the people have the right to do what they want with their life. Nonetheless, talking about giving children to world, we have to be aware of what we are doing, because they need and deserve an “active” mother for all the youth long (at least). Otherwise, these women can’t endure all the problems that children may have.
Everyone is responsible for his/her own acts, but in this case, it’s not only SHE (the woman) but also the new born. The woman in the picture is 57 years old, so what is going to happen when the “baby” is 18? His mother will be 75. That way, instead of being the mother who takes care of her child, and helps him with the difficulties of life (a lot of in that specific period), it will be he, the newly and inexperienced adolescent who will have to look after his old mother. He will not enjoy his adolescence, and that’s not fair.
Nowadays, the advances in science give us many possibilities which were unthinkable years before, and this is one of them. What is more, many medical treatments of fertility are so successful, that is highly possible that an elderly woman had twins or more than a child at the same time. Science is a very powerful tool but it’s a very important responsibility for a young woman to take care of a baby, so for an elderly woman this responsibility decreases exponentially. You could be very determined, but our body couldn’t be as resistant as we think. For this reason, all people would be consistent with their decisions, especially if they involve another person, and, of course, a baby.
Standard of life changes, society changes, women are more independent and most of them has a job. They can´t choose the time to become mothers. But, what is the right time? Don´t you think that the experience is neccesary to take care of a child? New technology helps to get these “miracles”.
I think that everthing should be done at its time but if some woman decide to have a baby at the age of grandmother it is her own business.It is true that the risks that can exist during the pregnancy are more than when you are younger, but nowadays medicine has evolved in an amazing form. So in conclusion, I agree with with this “future” mothers.
I think most of you are forgetting that a “grandmother” nowadays is a woman much more older than a “grandmother” of, for example, the Middle Ages, when women married with just 14 or 15 years, so at the age of 30 they were considered “old”… Science and medicine are giving women new opportunities to live their own life, without depending on men and babies. Why do you want to censor it? Maybe are men afraid of new, confident and powerful women?
Paddy, I do know that nowadays women work out of their house, God thanks about that, and it’s due to that fact that we cannot have our babies when we really would have liked, or even when it would have been more beneficial for both mother and fetus. However believe me if I say to you, that, unfortunately, or fortunately as you prefer, THERE IS a right time for being mother,… it tends to happen that women lose their menstruation at 45, what means that they are not fertile anymore. Taking into account the fact that Nature always chooses the stongest people, animal., whatever you want…if at the age of 45 (nothing to say if we are 57)we are not able to get pregnant it would be because there’s a real reason for it, don’t you think????
I think that becoming a mother is one of the best things in your life, but this 57 years old mother is a selfish woman who has broken her daughter life. As Chiquilla said, the daughter will not enjoy her life knowing that her mother is an old woman with I suppose, a lot of diseases.
Nature said us that a woman can get pregnant in a particular period of her life, and it is because it’s the best way for the mother and for the child. If she want a baby, she could get pregnant 30 years before.
A baby is not a toy or a whim, it’s a person, and if you are risking to destroy his or her life, you’re very selfish
I don’t know if I’m too unsensitive but, if my mum was the age of my grandmother’s I would feel like a strange person. Think about this situation: it’s 2 p.m. and kids are running down the stairs as the bell rings because the school is over for today. There, are their mothers waiting to collect’em and go home to have lunch. The three-year-old kids’ mothers are more or less in their thirties, but there is a woman there and seems to be waiting for someone. It’s a sixty-year-old woman , the mother of one of those kids. When finally the boys and girls arrive to their mothers, one of them asks the woman a question like : Oh, you are collecting little Johnny because his mother is working , aren’t you? He must be an adorable grand son. What would you think if the woman’s answer is : No, I’m his mum actually. ? This makes the whole thing. And I don’t want to say anything about the classmates who might be cruel with the innocent boy, and the pregnancy’s risks of having a baby at certain ages. So, there’s nothing more to say about it…
It’s simply ridiculous, by the time the kid has 10 tears, his/her mother will already be DEAD!!
Well, of course that is true that all of us have the right to do what we want, but we have to consider some important circumstances as for example the enormous gap between mother (PARENTS) and daughter (CHILDREN) (IN GENERAL). Probably they don’t realise in it now, however in more than ten years they will be aware of the problem.
We should look to the present but in some cases we have to look forward.
Has she done it?
Are we talking seriously?Come on! this is one of the craziest things I´ve ever heard.Also I think is a very selfish action.You can´t only think on yourself, she has to understand that her decision is not good for the kid.In a few years time the kid won´t have mother!
Let’s change the point of view… What would be your opinion about this topic if the mother is young (a 26-year-old woman, for example) but it is the FATHER the old one? Remember that the well-known american actor Anthony Quinn had his son number 13 at the age of 80… As a man, Anthony Quinn didn’t have the problem of lost menstruation or things like that, but… was it a good decision with his age? Did he take time to think about the future of that child? (By the way, Anthony Quinn died when his youngest son was only 6 years old)
I always say that people can do what they want with their life, but in this case this decision might have consequences on other lives. Is it fair that a teenager has to resign his/her youth in order to take care of his/her mother?
We have to distinguish between powerful and inmune. I agree with Pollock that women’s situation has changed. They are powerful, independent and confident. However, nobody can decide about health. Degenerative diseases are linked to the age and make you become unfit. Some examples could be Alzheimer or osteoarthritis, which reduce your mental and physical skills. This is the main point to consider before having a baby. If you wish to be a good mother, you shoud think, first of all, about the kid’s future, not about your own satisfaction.
Although nothing in life is guaranteed, the baby will have a short period of time with her mother. I think age is not just a number. As Fu Manchu says, a woman can get pregnant in a particular stage of her life and nature is wise.
Science is given new chances in our life, but we must know the advantages and disadvantages of it. For a woman who could not have children before, it is a tempting chance, but she should not think only in herself, is a selfish act. The baby will grow up and she will need a mother to support her.
I go alone with Sugar when she/he says that the generation gap is an important problem as well.
I agree with pollock. It’s true that when talking about parentship, we mostly think about the mother, but actually, if the father is already about to die, being father makes no sense. The important person involved in this discussion is the possible baby. I definetely say no.
Of course the times changes, we are young more time, we life more and all people have the right to do what they want…. but why they wait for so long to have a child? It’s far easier to have a child in the 30’s or 40′ even! Having a child at an older age is quite selfish, dangerous… Nowadays, at least, we are so prone to die with 70 more or less so the baby would be alone in world at a very young age! or probably, the child would have to look after his mother more than the mother her child….it’s unfair
I believe having a baby when you are 18 is a shame,but it is also crazy if you are 60.The ideal age to be pregnant is between 30-40,I think.I don’t see the point why you fancy having a son when you’re old and tired.If you wanted to have children,you shouldn’t have waited for so long…
For all of you (Fu Manchu, sp_18, Estefania AF…) who think that at 55 is too much late to have a baby because in a few years you´ll die for sure I´ll tell you that being mother at this age has more advantages than drawbacks. Think of this: in a few years you´ll receive a pension from the State, you´ll not have to work so you´ll have all the time in the world to play with your child, to enjoy together, to take care of their worries. You can dedicate the 100% of your time to bring up your child. And this is really important at least the first years of their lives. By the way, my grandmother is 90 and she lives with only a little help of their daughters and sons. If she were my mother I´d be 35 so I think that it´s enough time to bring up a child.
I agree with rantamplan, is this just a point of the years she is going to live? This woman is 57, and her life expectancy is more or less 80 years, and then the baby will have 23 years old. If we take into accout her partner, who is 46, with a life expectancy of 75 years, then the baby will be 29, don’t you think that’s time enough to be independent? I know that they coul die before, but it could happen to everybody.
Abou what Agueda said, I the “ideal age of pregnancy” is not between 30 and 40, but 20 and 30 (I mean physically, not mental or economic) who wants to get pregnant at that age??
I respect all of my classmates’ opinions, but I can’t share the opinion of Blue Apple, being mother at forties or fifties is not ridiculous.
If a woman has always wanted to have a baby and because of her health problems she couldn’t do it until a quite advanced age, she has the same right to be mother as the youngest women.
I understand that a woman that takes this decision has to think quite carefully about the long future for her child, but it is possible that the child grows up in very good conditions.
For example, I know a woman who has never got married. At the age of 45 she decided to have a baby by in vitro fecundation of an anonymous donator. Before that, she has organized all of the legal requirements for preserving the future of her twins with a legal tutor, in case of her death, the tutor will take care of them and will administrate their heritance.
First of all,40 is not the same that 60!so I consider a bit exagerate the Teddy bear’s comment. I was thinking about Ratamplan has said and I can’t agree, if the State gives you a pension, it’s because of something! with more than sixty you can’t stand the rythm of a child…it’s difficult even to me bear with my little sister! so I find imposible and dangerous having children at that ages.
I totally agree with EstefaniaAF. Being alive doesn’t mean being able to look after a child. Children need to play and run, and sometimes they make you feel exhausted, even if you are in the 30s, because you can’t stand their rhythm.
In adition, imagine you at the age of 70, with a son or a daughter of 13. How would you cope with typical problems of a teenager? Mind and body aren’t prepared to face this situation. Generation gap is an important point to consider. Probably, this mother will have difficulties to understand her child.
I would like to comment the opinion of EstefaniaAF. I don’t agree with your opinion, the TEDDY BEAR’s opinion is not exaggerate. Women who are a bit older have the same right to be mothers as the youngest. Nowadays is quite difficult to have a baby because people don’t have enough time to take care about them and then they have to leave the babies with their grandparents or in nurseries. So if you have decided to have a baby with more than fifty years, what is the problem??
The only problem that I can see is that your patience could be less than when you were young, however one thing in favour is that if you are pensioner you will have all the time in the world to give your baby the best of you. What is more, women with that age are able to avoid those awful behaviours that nowadays young people have; that women can give them principles which are being lost in our society.
Yes Cosual, one big drawback is the patience the may lose at those ages. What is more, these “old” mothers are not going to understand the youngsters’ problems. Notice that teenagers usually have lots of problems, which only a very close generation person can tackle with them. On the other hand, I agree with you that they can give them very important principles, but couldn’t their grandmothers show them this behaviour? I must say that this shouldn’t be the main reason to have a baby at that age.
If these women have been waiting for so long perhaps it has to do with the fact that they couldn’t have a baby without medicinal help. Should they loose their illusion of being mothers now that there are means to be pregnant? Where is the limit of being free to decide what you want to do?
I do not totally know how these treatments work. Even so, I am almost sure that doctors don’t advise women to have a baby at such ages, as it is dangerous for both mother and son. Especially, if they have to follow the process, it is better to be younger, since the fact that as a woman gets older, the probability to get a pregnancy decreases more. Also, if I had these problems, I wouldn’t wait for such ages, for the reasons I’ve said.
I totally disagree with this idea, it is not good for the baby because he will lose his mother when he is still a teenager. From my point of view it is a selfish option.
Human life is a misterious thing. We are very different of the rest of animals. They have a cycle of life and they can´t change anything. But we have the possibility of getting a lot of things thanks to the new technology. So, why can´t use it to help women to become mothers although they are not enough young? I disagree with Alea, I don´t think this people is selfish.
That’s a question I have made to myself several times because I know some cases related to it. In my opinion you can do with your life what you want but we are talking about having a child and I think that in this case we have also to think in his or her future. You have to be responsible and you should consider the fact that if you are quite old the child will have a grandmother and not a mother. I also disagree, like Pollock, with the possibility of being the father the old one. In my opinion there are already too many accidents and diseases in the world for which a child has not mother or father, don’t you think?
This topic really makes me think because on one hand it’s the mothers desire of having a baby. On the other hand we have that the baby is not going to have a mother, he is going to have a grandmother and his education is going to be completely different from the one of a chilfren who has a younger mother.
An important reason against this decision is that the mother is not going to be healthy and she couldn’t look after the children properly, and what is more important this children’s parents are going to die at best when he is in his twenties.
I really don’t know if I’m in favour or against mothers at the age of grandmothers because each case is different and we will have to listen the reasons why the woman wants to have a baby and the conditions in which this baby is going to live.
I´ve got a question for Estefania AF. Do you mean that if a person receives a pension is because they don´t be able to make a living? Is it necessary that I´ll give you some names of people older that 65 with a vitality and an energy enviable?. Besides, Why do we hold only women responsible for maternity? And what about the father? Pollok is right, Why can´t be that the father will be younger enough to take care of their children in case the mother dies?. Imagine that you felt in love at 55 with a man 20 years younger than you. It wouldn´t be wonderful to share such a nice experience from mature?. The opposite case in which father is older than mother is much more common and quite less criticized.
I am sorry Popi, but your opinion is not totally right. Nowadays, grandmothers are not able to give their grandchildren very important principles because they give them too many caprices. The current parents are too much permissive with their children, now in our society there are lots of problematical children who are quite violent with their parents and then, parents have to ask for help to the authorities. Don’t you think that mothers with a bit more age are more prepared for dealing with that sort of problems?
About the fact that fathers older than mothers is much more common and quite less criticized, this is true. In our current life, it is much more accepted that men are married with younger women, and the opposite case is quite controversial, but if we think carefully we are in front of the same case, they are equals. So, I am still in favour of the right of being mothers and fathers when they are not still young. They could be better parents.
Hi Cosual. You said in your previous comment that older mothers can give children principles that we are losing nowadays. After that, I said that grandmothers (with the same age as old mothers) can also give them to them. Now, my question is: what the difference is? Both women are the same age, so perhaps they have similar habits, either for good principles or even for caprices. What is more, if a woman has problems to get pregnant and she achieves it at that age, she might give the kid as many caprices, or permissions, as though she was the grandma (because of the habits of this woman).
On the other hand, I don’t really think that violence problems with teenagers are related to the age of their parents. I know many young parents that are stricter with their teenager sons than older ones.
The picture is explicit enough. It represents a grandmother with her grandson.
Possibility and suitability aren’t the same thing.
Technological advances should be destined to correct the mistakes of nature and not to satisfy the occurrences of people.
I am sorry Popi, but I don’t agree with you. Grandparents don’t have the obligation of educating their grandchildren they only have to take care about them because the parents have to work; the education depends on the parents’ responsibilities. So, if an old mother has a baby, she is not going to leave the baby to anyone and her responsibilities are her or his education and to preserve her or his future.
Talking about the violence problems with teenagers I don’t agree with you. Nowadays, young parents give their children more things than they need because they think that they have to have all the things that they didn’t have in their childhood and this is the root of the devil. For example, when I was a child, my parents taught me how to appreciate music, reading, painting, etc… They think that if I had wasted my time using the Nintendo or the Game boy (typical machines for playing in my childhood); I hadn’t learnt and studied too much. The caprices affects directly on the children’s character, they turn into selfish and self-centred. I think that my generation is so different in personality in comparison with the current generations.
Ok, Cosual I see your point and you are almost right, you are defending your position very well. But from my point of view, it is not fair for the kid to have a mother as though she was her or his grandma. Children deserve a family for as much long as possible. Of course an old woman, who doesn’t work, is not going to leave the baby to another relative. However, what happens if the mother is ill because of the age? Or to make matters worse, what about if the woman die? And could it be different if the young woman didn’t work?
Also, as I said in one of my former comments, there are a lot of teenagers’ issues that old people are not get used to deal with them, as well as they would suffer much more because of the sock produced. In addition, there are many subjects easier to talk about with a young person rather than an old one (sex for instance), and perhaps a young woman could advise her son or daughter much better.
Related to caprices… don’t you think that old mothers would give children caprices? I do.
I’ve just read the full article about this baby, and I completely agree with mothers having children at this age.
From my point of view, a baby can have worse problems than having a mother of the age of a grandmother, and we can’t decide who deserve to have a baby and who don’t.
Ok Goose, of course that we can’t decide about the others having or not a baby, but what I think is that despite the problems that a baby can have, having an old mother could be another one if the age of the mother is too high. However, as Indie has said, every life is different and I think we should know each case to judge it.
I suppose that any of your mothers is perfect, but you still love them. I wouldn’t mind if my mother was 50 years older than me, because the only thing important is that she loves her child. I think that a woman capable of going that far to get pregnant is going to love and take good care of the baby. For me, that’s enough.
I’m in favour that women do what they like without depending on men but, in this case, we’re not considering the health complications that could affect not only the mother, but also the baby.
So, in spite of being partialy in favour of it, I wuold not approve this behaviour. And despite these medical advances.